My Minions

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Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Goblin King! Goblin King! Where ever you maybe...

Take this child of mine far away from me!

Relax. I didn't even say the right words. Plus, I'd never send Jax off with some fool that looks like this...
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Sure he's sexy. But think about it. When you're thinking about sending your child to live with an evil goblin king, you really want one of his qualities to be *sexy*? I hope not. You should be looking at important things like goblin to baby ratio, health care, meal plans, and most importantly discipline methods. Because that's why you're sending the baby to him in the first place. Disciplinary issues.

Now I'm not saying that he can't be sexy. I mean if Jareth falls in line with your ideals, well then win-win.

But I digress. Jax is trying to walk. Trying to climb. And now tall enough to reach things on top of tables when standing. And the major problem is that he's smart. Smart enough to know that us Caretakers only put things on tables when we don't want him to have them. Therefore these things MUST be awesome. And of course he's correct. Because he only reaches for the tv remotes, my laptop, sharp objects, food, and of course Coke. Not cocaine. Everyone knows my only vices and Coke (a-cola), cussing, and bad tv.

I think the cussing is soon to follow for him because each time I have to take something away from him he gives me a look that clearly says, "I'm about to f--- your world up it's a--!" and then lets out a shriek that should have permanently damaged my ear drums long ago and possibly tries to bite me. So he pretty much just tries to ruin my day. I mean he has all the toys he could possibly want, but no he wants those rusty tetanusy (I said it so it's a word now, wanna fight about it?) nail clippers that Daddy threw up on the table instead of throwing them in the trash.

And now you know why I need to consult a goblin king. I'm not willing to commit right this second, but I'd like to hear what the man has to say.

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