Hey yall, I haven't posted in quite sometime. And truth be told, I don't know when I'll be able to post again after this, really I haven't had much to say. Well, today I do.
This is a post that I have stolen from a friends blog. I tried to summarize, to paraphrase, to do whatever I could to shorten it and get the point across, but I couldn't. The entire story and message is so important to me.
And to the OP (if you're reading this), I'm sorry to steal your post but you know how important the message is to me and how much love I have for you and LO. So I hope you'll forgive my plagarism. ((hugs)) for all the ones you've given me!
"Friday, January 15, 2010
Women and Elephants Never Forget...
There are few events in my life that the great Dorothy Parker hasn't perfectly summed up.
I love elephants. I remember seeing an IMAX movie when I was younger about these amazing animals, and the thing that struck me, even then, was their ability for compassion and empathy. When a member of their community is ill, they patiently wait for them to heal. When one is falling behind, they all slow down so their lagging member can catch up. And when a mother elephant loses her baby, they stand in a circle around her and allow her all the time she needs to grieve and mourn. They don't hurry her along, or push her to abandon the body. They stand in a circle and gently touch her with their trunks, a silent show of unwavering support.
Elephant mothers will stand with their babies for weeks, not eating or drinking, just holding them close and letting the reality that they are gone slowly settle in. And they are allowed that time by their family members.
We don't do that. Humans I mean. We do not rally around the bereaved, or allow the members of our community to mourn on their own time. We push, we prod, we offer helpful statements like "it's for the best" or "things happen for a reason." Grief is like some embarrassing condition - a cold sore or an unseemly rash - and we hasten to hide it from view.
In this time of heartbreak - for I am heartbroken, even as I start to emerge from the grief and accept the fact that this whole process did not, somehow, manage to kill me - all I want is for the people in my life to stand around me and put their hands on my back, and let me take the time to heal. I begin to realize we are not, as a society, capable of such a thing.
Women and elephants never forget...and I will try to remember how this feels the next time someone in my life has suffered a loss. I will try to be the circle of support they need. "
So please, everyone who reads this, remember the support that these wild animals can muster and give to their grieving friends and family. Please remember this when you know someone who experiences any kind of loss be it a pet, a job, a friend, a family member, or a baby.
Please Remember the Elephants.
Love, warm fuzzies, hugs and police work,
Vanessa
This is a post that I have stolen from a friends blog. I tried to summarize, to paraphrase, to do whatever I could to shorten it and get the point across, but I couldn't. The entire story and message is so important to me.
And to the OP (if you're reading this), I'm sorry to steal your post but you know how important the message is to me and how much love I have for you and LO. So I hope you'll forgive my plagarism. ((hugs)) for all the ones you've given me!
"Friday, January 15, 2010
Women and Elephants Never Forget...
There are few events in my life that the great Dorothy Parker hasn't perfectly summed up.
I love elephants. I remember seeing an IMAX movie when I was younger about these amazing animals, and the thing that struck me, even then, was their ability for compassion and empathy. When a member of their community is ill, they patiently wait for them to heal. When one is falling behind, they all slow down so their lagging member can catch up. And when a mother elephant loses her baby, they stand in a circle around her and allow her all the time she needs to grieve and mourn. They don't hurry her along, or push her to abandon the body. They stand in a circle and gently touch her with their trunks, a silent show of unwavering support.
Elephant mothers will stand with their babies for weeks, not eating or drinking, just holding them close and letting the reality that they are gone slowly settle in. And they are allowed that time by their family members.
We don't do that. Humans I mean. We do not rally around the bereaved, or allow the members of our community to mourn on their own time. We push, we prod, we offer helpful statements like "it's for the best" or "things happen for a reason." Grief is like some embarrassing condition - a cold sore or an unseemly rash - and we hasten to hide it from view.
In this time of heartbreak - for I am heartbroken, even as I start to emerge from the grief and accept the fact that this whole process did not, somehow, manage to kill me - all I want is for the people in my life to stand around me and put their hands on my back, and let me take the time to heal. I begin to realize we are not, as a society, capable of such a thing.
Women and elephants never forget...and I will try to remember how this feels the next time someone in my life has suffered a loss. I will try to be the circle of support they need. "
So please, everyone who reads this, remember the support that these wild animals can muster and give to their grieving friends and family. Please remember this when you know someone who experiences any kind of loss be it a pet, a job, a friend, a family member, or a baby.
Please Remember the Elephants.
Love, warm fuzzies, hugs and police work,
Vanessa
I love this elephant saying! So much... that I have started using it in care packages for women that have lost little ones. I saw it in someone else's care package and I emailed her and asked her if I could "steal" her idea and she said that she had seen someone else do it that had seen someone else do it etc...and so now my husband and I have Ian's elephants, its nonprofit (soon) and I would just like to pay credit to the original poster. Could you send me your friend's blog. (by the way one of my friends directed me here) Thank you so much.
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