Normal Morning in the Lewis Household...

Conversation with Chris this morning.
Me: Hey I'm going to cook tonight what do you want?
Chris: Whatever you feel like cooking.
Me: (deep irritated exhale) I'm going to stab you.
Chris: Ok.
Me: I'm going to stab you and then you're going to die.
Chris: Sounds about right.
Me: This is happening.
Chris: Just let me poop please.
Me: As you wish, you may have one last request.